How can you tell if you have finally found Mr. Right?

We are raised to believe that the best of everything can be ours. But when it comes to finding a partner, does this really apply?

When asked what they really want, many men will say that they are on a mission to find the most handsome guy, a sexy body with six-pack abs, the biggest penis, the richest, the most successful, and so on.

So, when you eventually meet someone that clicks, do you find yourself questioning whether or not he is ‘The One?’

It’s not an uncommon scenario. However, these wants/needs are a lot to live up to. In many cases, they are actually unattainable – at least in the way that you imagine. Once you find your perfect match, they may fulfill all these needs in ways that are much different than you originally would have defined.

With this idealist mentality, you could end up chasing rainbows and eventually end up unable to completely commit yourself to someone because you will always be wondering. Is there someone better? Someone who is richer? better looking? more successful? more fit? You get the picture.

Make no mistake: you absolutely do deserve an amazing relationship. But, no one is perfect (not even you!). You have to be realistic when making assessments about relationships and compatibility.

Here are some tips to help you put things in better perspective:

  1. Take some time to think about what your ideal relationship looks like so that you can fully understand what your priorities are before entering into a lasting relationship.
  2. Make wise selections in your dating life, ones that line up with your personal values. Sharing the same values as your partner is critical!

  3. Don’t get hung up on the small things. Small differences in personality or differences of opinion can be worked on. Don’t pass up a great guy just because of minor issues.
  4. Don’t fall into the trap of always thinking you can “do better”. These attitudes are very common, but they are also dangerous. If you are too focused on what you don’t have, you will be missing out on what you do have. 
  5. Pay attention to emotional indicators: How do you feel when you’re around him? How does he make you feel? This is a better gauge of relationship fit than just about anything else.
  6. Do you share the same values? Philosophies? Interests? Is there any sexual chemistry? What about the emotional connection? These are the truly important things, and these are what will sustain you over the long-term
  7. If you can’t have it all, what are your top three must-haves? Think about this, because it will help you distinguish something that is worthwhile from something that will eventually cause you to break up.

Don’t forget: the pool of men is small. Only 3.5% of the male population self-identifies as gay.

If you were to divide this small percentage of men by things like health status, looks, body type, race, income, job status, and ethnicity, the pool is even smaller. Where does that leave you in your search for Mr. Right?

Also, remember that the honeymoon doesn’t last forever. What’s left after the honeymoon phase is purely emotional. Sex is really just a component of the bigger picture and it often doesn’t last forever. This explains why many gay men in long-term relationships ‘outsource’ their sexual needs while remaining with a partner who they emotionally connect with.

What’s your take on finding Mr. Right? What have you learned in your search? Have you any wisdom to share?


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